Ditch that fukkin' taxi!

Admit it, my fellow Filipinos: Taxis in the Philippines are a fucking ripoff! The drivers are the leeches of the road; they suck your wallets dry and replace your hard-earned cash with that terrific desire to wring their necks really, really tight.

Top 2 Reasons why I HATE TAXI DRIVERS in the Philippines:

* They NEVER give any change at all. Say, the taxi meter says PhP85, and you only have PhP100 bills... your ride will cost you PhP100. Driver gets a free PhP15 with absolutely no effort.

Solution: Make sure you have lots of small change in denominations of PhP10 and PhP5 with you. If you can pay a PhP250 fare fully in 25-centavo coins, better!

* If they know you are unfamiliar with the route, they will take a very long zigzaggedy path to your destination. Not only would you have to pay a bigger fare, you arrive at your destination late for that important meeting!

Apparently, tarantado taxi drivers are not a monopoly of the National Capital Region. I met the worst of these dishonest drivers in Davao City, on a 10:00 PM ride from the airport. After hiring a nicer driver the next morning, we found out that last night's driver had practically gotten to our destination, then took a turn, brought us around for a few more loops and dropped us back to where we had been before. Fucktard.

Solution: Familiarize yourself with the route. Ripping a map off the yellow pages should be cheaper than gratifying a wiseass driver.

Sure, I've heard remarkable stories about "nice" taxis, where the drivers are courteous and careful and deliver the exact change, but I have yet to encounter these heroes of the road. What makes them "remarkable" and "heroic?" Simple: because they are a rarity. They are so rare that when an office colleague shared his "nice" taxi story, everyone was like "ReeeEEaaLLYYY???"

Take note: I work in Makati. You know how taxis are in there, right? I rarely hail a cab, but there are times when I just have to. Blame it on my genes, 'coz my father and I are both poor navigators.

By the way, what's up with the extra PhP10 fare that Makati's "special" taxis ask for, anyway? They even have nice colorful stickers that say they are authorized to collect an extra PhP10! Where in fuckin' hell do they get that??? (Yeah, you don't have to tell me, Captain Obvious.) Provision for cabbie luxuries? Or plain ol' kickback? Well, whatever it is, I would not want it for the entire country, if you know what I mean. Just keep that damn crap in your Makati, okay??!

Watch out for my future posts on commuting from the south (Parañaque, Las Piñas, Muntinlupa) to the north (Manila, Makati) and vice-versa. Just avoid that freakin' taxi!

Update: Posted some tips on commuting. Read up!

* taxi photo (not from the Philippines) is from Edward Webb of Wikipedia